Indulgent Emotion Series: Confusion


This is the third post in a series of posts about indulgent emotions. You can read the kick off post here, the first post here, and the second post here.


Often we trick ourselves into thinking we’re not really confused.

We will argue and say that we just don’t know.

We have to do some research.

We have to take another course.

We need to ask another expert.

We need to wait and see.

We just really don’t know.

We want clarity.

We have to just make sure.

All of this is confusion.

Confusion is completely not useful, just like overwhelm and staying in the busy mindset.

Confusion keeps you stuck because it leaves you in the land of “I don’t know.”

Think about the last time you had to make a decision.

Got one?

How quickly did you make the decision?

Did it take you a while?

Were you stuck in not knowing?

Decisions are made in an instant.

Confusion shows up when we think we don’t know the answer. When we believe that there must be something we don’t know, that we need to know, in order to move forward. Then we’re stuck in the not knowing.

This parades around a lot with entrepreneurs when they set a big goal, but then they want to know how they’re going to do it. They just want the steps. They’re just very confused about what to do to achieve the goal. If someone would just tell them, then they could follow the map, and accomplish the goal.

But it doesn’t work like that.

The uncertainty is what creates the how.

You have to test and check.

It’s all an experiment.

The way of the how is the not knowing.

It’s because you don’t know, that you go out there and try some things, and figure it out along the way. That’s how you create the goal you’re looking to accomplish. By making the first decision, doing it, and seeing what happens. Rinse and repeat.

I read recently that one of the key indicators of effective CEOs is their ability to make decisions, and make them quickly.

Are you letting your brain stay stuck in confusion?

It simply thinks it’s protecting you from failure and death. Nothing has gone wrong. It’s only doing its job.

And you can do yours, with your prefrontal cortex, letting your brain know that you don’t do confusion.

You totally know the answer.

You know the next step.

You can make powerful decisions.

You are figuring it out.

You know what is next.

You know which way to go.

When you’re really stuck, a question you can ask your brain is, “If I were someone who knew, what next step would I take?”

For me, that almost immediately clears the confusion right up.

Even if it’s not The Answer, while doing that next step I’m getting closer to finding the answer by at least trying and learning along the way.

You know, ladyfriend.

You know.

xo, L.