Indulgent Emotion Series: Busyness
This is the second blog post of a series kicked off with this post about the real reason you’re not getting it done.
While it isn’t technically an emotion, I’m going to explore the next “indulgent emotion.”
We talk about busyness as if it were a fact.
Like it’s a circumstance.
Like it’s just the weather outside going on.
As if it were happening to us.
I used to walk around in life looking like a bit of a hot mess telling tales of my busyness and overwhelm. I had the best evidence for this story.
“Well, I’m in grad school. And I have to work. And I have to do internships. And I have to meal prep. And I have a blog. And I have a boyfriend. And a social life. And I have to train for a half marathon. And read 5 books at one time.”
The list went on.
I figured out later that one of the reasons I kept my story of busy was because I was trying to manipulate what other people thought of me.
I didn’t know how to say no.
I thought that maybe if I said no to this opportunity, then there may not be others.
I didn’t want to tell someone no without good reason, so staying really busy was an easier out.
I wanted to appear successful and didn’t want to have to do all of the group projects on my own.
So I stayed busy.
Then I discovered that busyness is only something made up in our minds.
You and I would not be able to agree on what “busy” is.
Even if we could, how does it feel when you think, “I’m so busy”?
For me, it feels terrible.
Even though I still choose to fill my calendar more than many people prefer to, I have decided I’m no longer busy.
It doesn’t serve me in the slightest. It doesn’t allow me to create more. It doesn’t help me show up as a better version of myself.
It does the opposite.
I fall into an overwhelm meltdown (sure, that’s a term) when I think that thought. (& we know how useful overwhelm is...)
Now when people tell me, “You must be so busy.”
I just smile.
I’m not busy.
I have the power to choose what I fill my time with, and I choose what some might consider “a lot.”
It’s the perfect amount for me.
Plus, I’m continuing to practice saying no to every opportunity that doesn’t align with my vision.
Opting out is part of my strategy. Higher impact with increased focus.
What about you?